I mean what is my challenge? On the flight back from Mexico I watched Julie & Julia and LOVED ever minute. It was funny, sweet, sad but more than anything I felt inspired at the end. Inspired that when stuck is the only way you feel making a decision to move in a direction if only for a year can create a new life all together. I don't have any desire to learn french cooking so that option is out! I am already looking for a new job so that option is out as well. My first thought is about making myself happy....or more specifically working on me. But that seems a bit broad and a little frightening. So...what is my goal to change my life? No answers at this very moment but I promise that by the end of the week I am going to post my challenge. Any ideas? Anything you are inspired to try after watching this movie?
What is mine...
Back from paradise
I made it back from my quick trip to Mexico and had so many random experiences. I know that the bullet format is yucky but seems to be the most appropriate at this point.
- I loved Mexico and was quickly reminded of the beauty in the beaches, ocean and resorts. But I also realized that things are much more Americanized than ever before...with a Starbucks in short walking distance from most activities. And the expenses of cab rides, fresh fish and even beer which at times was $6 for a Mexican beer have also been Americanized!
- The biggest shock of my trip was that in ever bathroom a sign was posted reminding guests to not flush toilet paper but instead throw into the trash can next to toilet. Loved Mexico but was never so happy to come home and flush my toilet with the paper.
- My parents were happy to be in Mexico and share with me their celebration of 40 years of marriage. We made sure to drink enough throughout the trip to redefine CELEBRATION!
- There was a drunk evening when my parents shed tears about their love with each other, shed tears about my mom being forced to retire within the next week and they shed tears about feeling sad that my life isn't exactly the way they hoped it to be...
- After four hours of golf I returned to the hotel room with at least 50 mosquito bites and after the entire trip I now sit on my couch with over 100 from the top of my head to my toes!
Mexico here I come!!!!
It's Thanksgiving break from work (thank goodnes) and it's my parents 40th wedding anniversary! Can you believe it....40 years! I can only hope to be that lucky some day but by the time I celebrate 40 years I'll be so old that Mexico won't be an option. So....I am leaving in the morning with my parents to go and soak up the sun, drink some Mexican beer, scuba dive, golf and mostly part my butt in the sand and relax. This is exactly what my parents wanted to do for a celebration. A family vacation to rest, relax, play and just be together.
So I will be back hopefully tan, rested and grateful for my family. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.
Who said…
That’s not fair! I hear that every day at least twenty times a day. I hear it from kids, parents, staff members…I hear it over and over again. I don’t hear it from people who are struggling to pay bills, find food, stay safe…I hear it from those who got a ticket, failed because of lack of attendance, because we cancelled an extracurricular event due to lack of participation and even because they are being held accountable for cursing at me. And it’s at those moments when I fight yelling that life isn’t fair! And how did they ever think life was fair. Life has disappointments, struggles and things can be unfair.
That is the problem with this generation. So I know that it’s official that I now sound like an old person. But it’s true, every generation has an “issue” and for this generation it’s the belief that life is fair. They believe that “it’s” their right…no matter what is in question. They trust that their parents will fix it at any time they need. They believe that all of the good things come become they are entitled and they wear it like a crown.
And parents reinforce that thinking every day. Not all parents, but I can honestly say that daily I get phone calls and visits from parents telling me how things should be for their kid because that’s what is FAIR. Regardless of the situation; regardless of the behavior and simply just because it should be.
I love kids and they are my passion. I want them to feel prepared to enter the world prepared to handle the bumps, curves, joys and hurts. And I am frustrated that their biggest hurdle is usually the vision of the world presented by the people who love them the most. I know that when a parent hovers to protect, harasses to modify circumstances and/or demands fairness they are doing it from a good place. But if I could hold a mirror up for them to see into the future it would show their child crimpled because they do not have the skills to face struggle, disappointment, hurt and unfair treatment.
Okay, I will step off of my soapbox.
Snow days
The last two days have been cold and snowy leaving Denver to look like a scene from a Christmas movie. Everything is covered in snow...in fact I measured 15 inches of snow on my patio this morning. And tonight I'm looking out my window at snow covered roofs, porch lights shinning and silence. I'm not sure that you can see silence exactly, but it feels like that right now. Along with the snow came a wonderful surprise...two snow days. No school, no alarms, no hustle. Just fireplaces, candles, cozy moments on the couch and a break from a place that is not currently any comfort.
Tomorrow morning I will wake to an alarm and start the hustle all over again. And by Saturday Denver will experience 65 degree temperatures, snow will melt and all of this will look anew. But tonight I am just going to sit on the couch and stare outside at the pure joy of snow days.
Too Wicked?
Not possible!!! I love this show...in fact, I love it so much that today I saw it for the fourth time. The first was several years ago with my best friend and it changed the way I saw Oz forever. Last Christmas my parents and I went on a trip to California to see it (just because I guess). And when we returned from the trip found out that it was making another appearance in Denver. So...my family bought tickets. The same week...my friends bought tickets and I was included. Sooooo....today I saw in the theater watching my favorite show EVER and decided four times wasn't enough.
Anybody in love with this show?
The light bulb is on.
Oprah calls these Aha moments but I like to think of them a little more like a slap in the head. The light finally turns on and you see things clearly...and that could mean neat and shinny or cluttered and messy. Aha moments seem to indicate that when it finally comes everything looks clear and shinny. NOT ALWAYS! It's like when you tell yourself that it's only five extra pounds and you finally realize it's more like twenty! Good to realize, but doesn't feel like such a positive moment. Thank goodness for boot camp to help dwindle that number back down.
I finally saw the dots in my life. The dots that you connect over time that show the clear picture of who you are, where you have been and where you will go again if not changed. I use to believe that to change the world I had to sacrifice everything else in my life that might bring me joy. But I have realized that without joy in my life...I can't change anything. I use to believe that working out would help me fit into a pair a jeans...but not I see that it also (and more importantly) lets me be in control of my body and face most obstacles. I use to think that allowing my family and friends to use me and say hurtful things (in a very passive way) was part of keeping the peace...but now I realize it taught me how to expect the world treat me and affect my soul because of my choices.
So that light bulb went on this morning at 6:00 a.m. and burned so bright that I was almost blinded. I thought of all the wasted time and energy I have put into keeping the peace with my family and friends only to explode emotionally in the end. And then the point is lost...it becomes about my emotions not their treatment. That's not fair to anybody, especially me. Maybe sounds like an Aha moment...but this clarity doesn't come with only shinny new potential. It also comes with work, change, sadness and pain...which will in the end look different than it did at 5:59 a.m. Not necessarily a bad process or outcome just different. But it's time to face what I see and not turn out the light (like I have done before) and pretend it didn't exist. It's my turn, my control and ultimately my life.
